he wants to bone in the snuggie
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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