It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
