i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
