don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
