are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
