ugly people sure do ruin things
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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