So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
