Buhtt sex?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You're like the curious george of whores
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
