I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
