There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
