I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
