I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
vagina is talking i cant
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
