so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
