you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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