The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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