I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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