so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
