He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
