This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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