Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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