there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize