hell yes lets make some ravioli
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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