I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We named our party play list daddy issues
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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