HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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