he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
