addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
