dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
