I skipped work to stalk him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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