Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
