scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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