So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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