i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize