It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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