what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
