chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
