It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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