I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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