It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
