we made out on top of his cat.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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