There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We smell like vodka and hangover
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