just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
