Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
