drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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