it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
