So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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