3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
