ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
