No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
