I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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