You work out of a Hotel?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
