How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
