He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
