Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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