I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize