i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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