I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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