note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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