the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
