Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
