Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
